A mom loves unconditionally, but it is a LOT easier to love on everyone when you have some love in the tank to give.
We can’t pour from an empty cup.
Nor can our husbands. Or our kids.
Everyone needs to FEEL loved, to have their cups filled “past the tippy top” as Izak used to say, in order to spill out to others.
According to The 5 Love Languages there are 5 main ways we show, & feel, love. They are, in no particular order,
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Receiving Gifts
Words of Affirmation
The kids say mine is FOOD.
I can’t argue. I do love food.
But I have learned over the years that 2 areas put me in a better place consistently.
If I do not have face to face, Quality Time with my husband, we struggle. It’s just that simple.
And I do a LOT of Acts of Service in this house. If I continually do & do & do, without anyone DOING anything for me, I get cranky. 😠
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
It’s common that people tend to show love in the way they wish to receive it.
For example, Ali is constantly coming in for hugs, patting my butt, rubbing my back (all usually while I’m trying to make dinner 😵💫) & I have to resist the urge to swat him away.
His love language is Physical Touch. (This doesn’t just mean sex by the way.)
Knowing this is his language, I try to make an effort to reach over & rub his shoulders or pat him, kiss him, etc. throughout the day. It takes effort though as that is not my preferred way.
Let’s Work – the exercise
I’m going to go out on a limb here & guess that you love your children. I think this little bit of information helps us love them better.
You may be wasting your energy doing, or wasting your money buying gifts, when all they really want is a hug.
Or you can do this quick on-line version. They ask you to give your email for a detailed result but you can get the jist without providing anything.
I strongly recommend having your kids take this written quiz to learn how THEY feel most loved.
Before giving them the quiz, try to guess (without telling them so you don’t skew their results) what they are before they take theirs.
This is a fun family dinner conversation/activity. ❤️ I hope you learn something new.
Beyond the Belly Pooch Workshop
If you live in Denver, are managing pelvic organ prolapse, experiencing leakage, or noticing core weakness, this workshop is for you!Scan the QR code to register.
Wednesday, May 14 10-11:30am atPivot Health & Fitness offered by our very own pelvic floor specialist Lea Klein, MSPT & Madeline Souder, PCES
When you talk to yourself, your emotion matters as much as the words do.
Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
Manifest
Words are just sounds.
Have you tried using positive affirmations before?
When I am not playing well on the tennis court & facing a big point, I will try to talk positively to myself.
“You can do it.”
“You’ve got this.”
Sometimes it works. It always works better than “Come ON you idiot!”
But sometimes, it doesn’t.
My nerves take over… my brain scrambles too many instructions, my muscles can’t smoothly perform all the instructions my brain is firing, & I mess up YET AGAIN.
“See? You are terrible.”
I don’t trust myself. This same “bad” result has happened too many times for me to be able to believe I have what it takes to create a different result.
This isn’t just true on the tennis court. I feel it when I catch myself once again snapping at my kids, picking my cuticles, or shoving food down my pie hole, long after I’m no longer hungry.
The only way we can change our lives is to change our energy — to change the electromagnetic field we are constantly broadcasting. In other words, to change our state of being, we have to change how we think and how we feel.
I could not agree more.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
Generally, our thoughts create our emotions, which lead to our action or inaction, & that produces the results we have in our lives.
However, if this was all there is to it, positive affirmations would work. Thinking positively would change everything.
But it doesn’t.
How many times have you tried, unsuccessfully, topull yourself out of a funk, break a bad habit or change the trajectory of your life?
You think positively, you set all the best of intentions, you may even write them down, put them on your mirror & repeat them aloud, but you end up right back where you started.
It’s like your body has a mind of its own.
Dr Dispenza explains.
… your thoughts drive your feelings, and your feelings drive your thoughts, and eventually this loop hard-wires your brain into the same patterns, which conditions your body into the past. And because emotions are a record of past experiences,if you can’t think greater than how you feel, this thinking-feeling loop keeps you anchored to your past and creates a constant state of being. This is how the body becomes the mind—or in time, how your thoughts run you and your feelings own you.
Did you catch the key in there? “… if you can’t think greater than how you feel…”
It is super effective to bypass our thoughts & generate elevated emotions FIRST, instead of waiting for someone or something outside of us, to give us a reason to feel those emotions.
… when you change your emotions, you can change the expression of your genes (turning some on and others off) because you are sending a new chemical signal to your DNA, which can then instruct your genes to make different proteins—up-regulating or down-regulating to make all kinds of new building blocks that can change the structure and function of your body.
This is the truth behind the advice to “Fake it ’til you make it” or to “Act as if…”
Truly, we can all agree that our energy changes everything right? Our outlook, our mood, our thoughts, actions, word choices…
I have experienced proof of this many times on the tennis court. If I can pair my positive self- talk with the elevated emotions that come with self-confidence, my outcomes are MUCH better.
Let’s Work – the exercise
This may be the most welcome assignment I’ve ever given you. I’m going to ask you to be happy. Feel wonderful.
That’s basically your assignment.
Watch this this video of Dr Joe DIspenza explaining, scientifically, how elevated emotions can change your physiology, & therefore your whole state of being.
At the very least, this is a case for keeping a gratitude journal. If you’re not doing that already, maybe this is your invitation to start the practice.
Part of what gratitude is supposed to do for you, is remind you how blessed you are, so that you can FEEL that elevated energy.
Set a reminder on your phone to ding at you every hour. That will be your cue to conjure up some elevated emotions. Gratitude. Love. Joy. Bliss. Inspiration. Hope!
FEEL it in your body.
Then pair it with some positive statements. I’d suggest picking a few simple ones to repeat to yourself.
I am worthy. I am capable. I believe in myself. I am loved. I am enough. I am confident… I am created in the image of God.
What do you most need to to believe in order to change or enhance your life right now?
Your body is most open to suggestion when the prefrontal cortex is quiet.This ideal state happens during heightened emotional states, when someone is tired (right before bed), & under stress.Interestingly, children & older adults are also more susceptible to suggestion as that part of their brain is developing (in children) & declining (in older adults). Also, individuals with low self-esteem are more susceptible which could be a GOOD thing if the right things are being suggested! Unfortunately, their self-talk is likely not very positive.
In my effort to keep these letters more “bite sized” I am only covering part of this book. Again, I’d suggest you go read it as I cannot possibly do it justice.
Remembering The Light WithInwas the first book to really challenge me in the area of acceptance. I struggle with this, immensely. Truly being ok with what is.
I’m more of a fighter. A fixer.
It’s exhausting, really.
Authors Mary & Ronald Hulnick explain the entirety of Acceptance…
Accepting What Is – observe with neutrality vs emotionally charged judgement.
Acceptance of Self – loving ALL of me. Being able to see past the ego & relish my own divinity even!
Acceptance of Others – we are all just doing the best we can based on our own conditioning. We are in this life together!
Acceptance of the World – just as it is, accepting what is happening now & what has happened before.
Acceptance of God – realizing that perhaps we don’t know it all. God has His purpose that we can’t possibly fathom.
The above was difficult for me to accept (go figure). I was relieved to read the following.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with what is. And it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t put effort into changing what is. It simply means that you’re not at war with what is. You’re not fighting what is… It is important to realize that your liking or disliking something has absolutely no effect whatsoever on that something. But it sure has a lot do to with what’s going on inside of you – your state of consciousness in that moment – for when you are in Acceptance, you are in a state of peace.
We know we are in Judgement instead of Acceptance when we are bothered & this is not a bad thing.
Consider upset your notice that “school is in session”. Agitations are your “spiritual curriculum”.
Rename your problems “blessings” because they show you the way to healing.
Bad times have a scientific value. They are occasions a good learner would not miss. ~ Emerson
We discover so much when we are willing to face challenging moments head on, with open, inquisitive (instead of judgemental) hearts.
WHAT is bothering me? WHY is it uncomfortable? WHERE do I feel it? (Instead of resisting it & wishing it would just go away.)
I practiced this the other day when some Easter candy was calling my name. I’d already indulged. I didn’t NEED more. I knew I wouldn’t feel good if I ate more!
So I just welcomed the “discomfort” of that candy, taunting me. I was present with it & soon the urge passed.
It didn’t kill me. It was actually so liberating!
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
Also similar to The Untethered Soul, this book talks about how fear is our biggest problem & therefore, teacher.
Fear of the unknown is the single dynamic that stops more people from moving ahead in their lives than any other factor. This is why it is so difficult for many people to break addictions & other habits that do not serve their aspirations. They are unwilling to be with their fear long enough to allow it to run it’s course. The familiarity of their habitual addictive behavior is stronger than their intention.
We can gradually replace our fears with courage & trust by consistently embracing challenges outside our comfort zone. Replace your need to know with the peace available to those who accept the awe & wonder of NOT knowing!
It takes courage to face the unresolved issues that continually surface. I will ask you to face these in this week’s assignment below but a message from these authors that I think gets missed is the idea of compassionate self-forgiveness.
Healing happens by flooding the areas inside of us that hurt with immense love. If you find a wound that is there due to shame or guilt, actively loving the you that was not perfect when this happened, is key.
You will also benefit from the practice of compassionate forgiveness toward any who have offended or hurt you as well.
I talk often about being our own best friends. Treat yourself with the love you’d give your baby. Apply LOVE to the damaged areas of your inner being.
Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. ~Mark Twain
Chapter 13 is “The Mother of All Choices” & it was perhaps the most profound for me.
In doing the work I invite you to do below, I learned that my ego was often my problem. I learned how often I was blaming others for my discontent. (My kids & husband of course at the top of the list.)
We all create our story in our mind & the experiences unfold before us to support that story.
If we tell ourselves we are the victim, life will hand us proof repeatedly. Only we have the power to change that narrative by accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances.
As you change your story by taking responsibility for your inner environment & applying Loving to the places inside where there is hurt or disturbance of any kind, you Awaken more fully into your Essential Loving Nature… you transform your inner environment, & lo & behold, your outer experiences follow suit.
Let’s Work – the exercise
I invite you to investigate what repeatedly upsets you, so you can learn what you need to, & end the cycle. This School Is In Session worksheet helped me discover how my ego was leading me astray.
Our thinking is often subconsciously influenced by our egos. If we know this, & can practice being aware of this, we can reclaim the power that has been ours all along, instead of giving it away to who & what we blame for our problems.
Where are you playing victim in your life? Who or what are you blaming for your problems? Take back the responsibility to command your own life.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
This past summer I dropped Izak off for conditioning at Valor & I’d have an hour to kill. I would often go for a walk/run while I waited.
Highlands Ranch has an elaborate “trail” system (sidewalks) that goes on for miles.
I quickly learned they also have an extensive grasshopper population.
So. Many. Grasshoppers.
These little jumpy freaks were everywhere. And they didn’t just sit there—they launched at me. Randomly. Aggressively. More than once I screamed mid-stride, arms flailing like a cartoon character.
I’m sure passers by would look twice at the site, wondering what sort of ailment that poor woman has.
Naturally, I became obsessed. I crossed the street if that was an option, but often it was not. I would dart, bob & weave around the tiny creatures begging them to stay put.
It was ridiculous.
Running is hard enough for me without this nonsense.
I’m not sure how long it took me to realize the trick, but I did eventually figure it out.
If I just set my gaze on the path ahead of me, & quit focusing on the obnoxious little pests, I barely noticed them.
Yes, sometimes I would feel one hit my leggings but my body did not convulse into a seizure-like response.
This is the secret to managing your mood & manifesting what you want in life.
Putting our attention on something is like watering it. What we focus on grows.
Don’t believe me? Let’s talk about the brain.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
Fun Fact: The human brain requires 20% of our energy, despite it making up only 2% of our body’s weight.
It’s main function is survival so it is
constantly on the lookout for threats, &
very interested in conserving energy.
The brain does not decipher well the difference between real & imagined danger.
When athletes visualize performing their skill they improve almost as much as actually physically practicing it. The neural activity is similar between a real & imagined experience.
If you want to try something new, your brain will sometimes perceive that as a threat to what’s known & comfortable, which can prevent you from being brave enough to try it.
It takes conscious effort to overthrow the brain’s default resistance to taking a “risk”.
We are wired to cling to the familiar. Even if the familiar isn’t working.
Our brains function in 2 modes – subconscious & conscious.
Babies are born with a fully-functioning subconscious, but their conscious brain doesn’t fully develop until adulthood. So they take in the world without filters.
A little one sees a negative response when they make a mistake & accepts the “truth” that they caused it, when in fact, it could have just been a gas pain flashing across mom’s face.
They lack the analytical decision making required to make logical assumptions & since the brain is interested in conserving energy, it is very good at putting itself on autopilot… creating habit loops.
Unfortunately, the subconscious brain is not so good at deciphering which “habits” serve us, & which do not. It doesn’t really care, as long as it keeps us “safe”.
And once our brain puts something into “autopilot” mode—like fear of failure, people-pleasing, or thinking you’re not cut out for something—it takes real intention to shift that.
But it’s possible.
Let’s Work – the exercise
As I’ve mentioned before, it all starts with awareness.
What grasshoppers are you so focused on that’s keeping you from enjoying the beautiful view in front of you?
How many seizure-like responses are you enduring because you’re focused on the wrong thing?
What we believe—deep down in that subconscious—is running the show more than we realize.
If we want something different, we have to DO something different. In order to DO something different, we first have to THINK something different.
Start with one. Pick one grasshopper you are focused on. Let that little pest hop away. You don’t have to dodge it, scream at it, or wrestle it to the ground.
Just take your eyes off it. Look up mama. The view is beautiful ahead.
“What you focus on grows. What you think about expands. And what you dwell upon determines your destiny.”
I had my body composition done, twice. Here’s what I learned.
Years ago, in grad school, I had my body composition taken both by dunk tank (underwater submersion) & skin fold measurements.
Nothing will make you more self-conscious than letting your exceptionally fit peers pinch & measure your fat, but we had to practice.
I remember that I measured better under water than skin fold. This was a good thing. Apparently, I carry more of my fat subcutaneously (just under my skin) than visceral (in & around my organs).
You can see by my beautiful recent DEXA scan that it’s still that way. 😜
Years ago I cracked ribs coughing & have always wondered if my bone density is up to par. I had a DEXA scan done here in Denver in September after turning 50 & again more recently.
A DEXA scan at Body Fat USA costs $80 & takes about 10 minutes. You get an 11 page report explaining your results. I am trying to condense it down to a few key points for you.
The blue lines indicate what’s “acceptable”. You can see I’m at the age where it drops off significantly but luckily, that black dot up there at the top (my bone density) is still ok.
I lift weights, do high impact activities, eat healthy & get enough vitamin D so this was not surprising, but still good to see on paper.
The DEXA scan also measures your body composition, or your percentage of lean & fat mass. My body fat percentage was 20.5%. In my case, that means I’m carrying 33.7 lbs of fat.
Side note, you can see I land below most women my age, & yet, my BMI puts me on the high end of normal.
This is an example of why BMI is relatively worthless in my opinion. If you carry more lean mass than most (like me) you will come out high on this scale.
Where you carry your fat is also of significance.
Android refers to belly & gynoid refers to hips & thighs. These numbers explain why I can’t find jeans that fit me. 😁
This ratio of .51 however, puts me at lower risk for heart disease, so I’ll just keep wearing my stretchy workout pants, thank you. 😉
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
I told you I had done this in September & again more recently. Let’s look at a few of the changes I saw in those 6 months.
I’ve been pretty open about that fact that I’ve been carrying a bit of extra weight this past year or more. The scale has moved more than this day would indicate (it fluctuates of course) but this is a good example of why we should not put too much emphasis on what the scale says.
As you can see, I’d lost a couple pounds, but I’d lost 6 lbs of fat & gained over 4 lbs of lean mass.
This shows generally where it came from.
There’s no such thing as spot reduction, aside from liposuction. You CAN however, spot INCREASE, by lifting more in whatever area you want to gain lean mass.
I lift weights 3-4 times a week but lift legs (& core) almost every time. LEGS are our biggest muscles & therefore, our biggest area of opportunity.
Let’s Work – the exercise
I hope this didn’t bore you to death. I’m kind of a nerd when it comes to the science of the body. We can read in books what happens, but it’s much more fun (to me) to actually SEE it happening in our own.
Here’s what I focused on.
I ate less overall, but tried not to eat less protein.
I continued taking creatine, but also took more amino acids. I love the tasty drink versions Body Health has, including their Body Calm I take before sleep. Not sure if my referral link, or buying them on Amazon in cheaper. Let me know if you look into it.
I was careful to take the Perfect Aminos before & after workouts, before bed, & any other time I’d gone a while without eating. (Rare. 😜)
I tried to lift heavier, not necessarily more often. I might try lifting more focused (IE triceps, shoulders & chest 1 day then back & bis another… etc.) like I used to at some point.
My best advice to you is to lift weights. Lift HEAVY weights, carefully.
If you don’t know how to do this correctly, try out one of my classes, go to a class at your local gym for some guidance, or hire a personal trainer. This is so important as we age.
Show your kids what a strong mama you are! 💪🏼
Becoming The Woman You Want To Be
I love hearing from you! Thanks so much for your feedback. I look forward to hearing your thoughts every week. If there is something in particular you’d like to learn more about, please let me know!
When I fail, it’s almost always for the same reason.
This is not self-deprecating modesty. And I realize it is not the Positive Self-Talk I preach, but it is the truth.
I need you to know Reader, just because I’m writing to you about reaching your full potential, does NOT mean I have reached mine.
I am no expert.
Far from it.
I write with the sole intent of bringing you along with me on my quest to become better myself.
I have had the desire to be better for a long time. I have read books, watched videos & listened to podcasts.
But just because I have the information in my head, does NOT mean I execute the instructions perfectly…
or even well.
I learned at some point that if you want to master something, you need to teach it. So here I am. At least in part, for my own selfish reasons.
I’m not ready to share with you my worst parenting moment, but it was horrible. I did not beat my child, but I verbally wounded her precious little spirit & I will never forget the look on her face when I did it.
She left the room defeated & in tears. My head & shoulders sagged in disgust at what I’d just done. Izak, the only other witness, immediately walked over to me & put his hand on my shoulder.
I said, “I am a horrible mother.”
He responded sweetly, “No you’re not. You just didn’t handle that the best way possible.”
I think he was 11. So she was maybe 7.
She is a challenge for me, perhaps because we are so similar.
She’s also amazing… so much smarter, athletic & sweet than I ever was or will be.
She’s reading Romeo & Juliet right now & often uses words in her every day vocabulary that shock me. She’s a genius!
But she will run an entire cycle of the dryer having forgotten to put any clothes in it first.
She will address envelopes, put the stamps on & hang them outside for the mailman & leave the actual thank you notes on the counter.
She will turn on the sauna for me, but leave the door to it wide open.
She drops everything, throws a cartwheel right under my chin & can’t remember (after 5 years) to empty her lunchbox when she gets home from school. 🤯
These actually make me laugh now, but honestly, I often do not respond in my ideal way when they happen.
The good news is, I know what the problem is. And it’s not Nadia.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
For me, if I’m not present, my ego reacts before my brain or heart can intercede.
I am a Type A multitasker & always in a rush. When I am doing 3 things at once & fast, my patience is thin.
My patience is the only THIN thing about me. 😆
It’s my ego that has me busy in the first place. Doing.
It’s my ego that wants to be right, control the situation or others, & prioritizes my needs & wants over those around me.
It’s my ego that acts like I am superior or more important than the little people God blessed me with.
Being aware of this is the first step in changing it.
The second is to understand it. The ego is the constant stream of thoughts, judgements & attachments that enhances our self-image to separate us from them. The good from the bad. The right from the wrong.
The ego tries to “protect” us from perceived “threats” to the identity it wants to uphold.
What do you experience when someone questions your intelligence, takes your possessions, or challenges your importance? Do you feel a surge of energy building in you just thinking about it?
That’s the ego.
But if we do not react, or take the ego’s suggestion to “fight back”, what happens?
Have we really lost significance if we do not succumb to the urge to retaliate, or prove our worthiness?
The ego is just a collection of thoughts, & I know I am not my thoughts, so I am also not my ego. I don’t have to take it personally.
Usually, the rub I find with others is also just their ego showing itself as well. Knowing this, I should not take their actions or words personally either!
This is great news! I don’t have to berate myself (or others).
I canNOT declare war on the ego, because that would feed it. The ego loves drama & reactivity. It’s begging for a fight.
Humility is the opposite of ego. Humility is freedom from pride or arrogance; or a modest view of one’s own importance.
I want humility to take over my tongue & actions.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.
~Proverbs 11:2
But I HAVE to be present to recognize all this in time to respond correctly, which means I need to slow down. Do less. Especially when my kids are around.
The ego isn’t wrong; it’s just unconscious. When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don’t take the ego too seriously. When you detect egoic behavior in yourself, smile. At times you may even laugh. How could humanity have been taken in by this for so long? Above all, know that the ego isn’t personal. It isn’t who you are. If you consider the ego to be your personal problem, that’s just more ego. ~Eckhart Tolle
Let’s Work – the exercise
You may not have this problem. Many of you are more relaxed & patient than I am so this may not be your issue.
The goal of today’s message is to
A. make you feel better about yourself by admitting that I mess it up all the time &
B. invite you to take a peek at your most common hurdle.
What trips you up most often? There is usually one thing most of it can be traced back to. Mine is not being present. What is yours?
To reach my full potential as a mother,
I need to be strong in spirit, mind & body.
Today’s message is another example of putting our own oxygen mask on first. If I’m not in a good place, I cannot be a good mom. What do you need to do to set yourself up for better success?
Blood glucose has been on my mind all my life as I have an older brother who is Type 1 Diabetic. Blood sugar was a life or death matter in my house.
Ironically, when I was young, the health advice out there was to eat low fat, so we consumed plenty of carbohydrates.
I remember the day (I was in college) when I first heard that spaghetti noodles might not actually be good for us. I remember exactly where I was sitting when I read that pasta might have “too much sugar” in it.
I was disgusted at the idea. 🙄 “What WILL they think of next?”
😂
I can’t remember how long it took for me to finally be convinced, but my whole adult life I’ve eaten pretty low carb.
I don’t recall when I first learned I feel better eating less carbs. I even spent 9 months eating Keto & realized 6 months in that I had not taken an allergy med in 6 months, which was HUGE for me at the time.
Keto (no sugar) is anti-inflammatory for me.
But that doesn’t mean I want to eat that way forever. I LOVE my mom’s maple bars 🤩, chips, fries, & a big bowl of buttered, salty popcorn. (We’re on a bit of a kick here lately.)
In fact, when I first went off Keto & started eating carbs again, I couldn’t believe how much better I slept & recovered. I wear the Whoop so I had actual evidence of this, not just a feeling.
For years I’ve been curious about my own blood sugar. I’ve poked myself to test my blood & peed on sticks to measure here & there but as you will see from the picture below, your timing has to be pretty amazing to catch the quick fluctuations.
Ali is ramping up his health lately & started using the Stelo (a continuous glucose monitor). I was jealous so bought 3 months for myself (which cost $252).
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
When we eat carbohydrates our bodies digest them down to glucose (sugar). If we consume more than we immediately need our blood sugar goes up & the pancreas releases insulin to help cells take up – use or store – the glucose.
It is to our benefit to keep our blood sugar relatively stable. In the short term, blood sugar spikes can cause excess hunger, cravings, moodiness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating & can negatively impact sleep.
That’s reason enough right there to want to keep it steady, but the long term consequences of riding too high, too often are even more detrimental.
Here is an example of one of my days where I stayed in the suggested 70 – 140 range.
Most of my days looked something like this.
There are a variety of factors that can influence our blood sugar, beyond just how many carbs we consume. I will go over a few of the biggest ones here.
Consuming simple carbs (candy, fruit, juice, etc.) alone will spike your blood sugar more than if you have Protein, Fat or Fiber with (ideally BEFORE) you eat the sugar.
It costs the body more work & time to digest Protein, Fat & Fiber. If you want to have some sugar, it’s better to have some dessert, than it is to eat the ice cream all by itself, especially for breakfast.
In the morning, we are more prone to glucose spikes so it is best to start your day with less sugar.
This is another reason why I like my first meal of the day to have at least 30 g of protein in it.
Hormones influence our blood sugar levels. Cortisol & growth hormone increase in the morning, which tells the liver to release stored glucose. This happens whether you consume carbs or not, AND whether your morning is stressful or not!
Stress triggers the Fight or Flight response which releases sugar into the blood stream in case you need to run. It also increases adrenaline & cortisol which inhibit insulin’s effectiveness.
Ali coached Nadia’s basketball team & they made it to the playoffs. His blood sugar would soar during those intense games. 😆 It was actually pretty cool to see. I love when we get to SEE the science happening in our bodies.
Interestingly, high intensity exercise will sometimes have the same effect. (It’s stress, which activates the sympathetic nervous system.)
However, the opposite happens when we exercise less intensely.
Using our muscles will decrease blood sugar (obviously) so if you consume a meal higher in carbs, go for a walk, or do some squats, push ups or calf raises.
This article explains that even if you are sitting down, you can do seated calf raises (soleus pushups) after a meal & this will positively affect your blood sugar!
Here’s one more trick for you.
Consuming 1 tablespoon of vinegar (either on your salad or in water), ideally 20 minutes before a meal, can reduce your blood glucose spike by up to 30%.
The Glucose Goddess has devoted her career to studying & explaining the importance of blood sugar regulation. Jessie Inchauspe is a French author, mathematician & biochemist who created The Glucose Hacks, a list of proven tips to reduce glucose spikes.
Interestingly, she got into this line of work when she learned how leveling out her blood sugar improved her mood & health immensely.
Let’s Work – the exercise
I wore the Stelo monitor for just under 2 months. I learned less than Ali is learning but he has always eaten more carbs than I do so he has more “areas of opportunity”. 😁
As a bit of a self-proclaimed Human Body Nerd, I enjoyed watching what would happen when I ate certain things. For example, this was the day I dove into some candy in addition to popcorn after dinner. 🤭
I got to 177 here about the time I was trying to fall asleep. Not ideal.
Everyone is different. For me, I was surprised to learn the rise happened later than I expected. (My blood sugar doesn’t immediately go up.) I think I’d had the sugar about an hour prior to this.
I learned that I CAN have my big ‘ol bowl of buttered popcorn AFTER a protein & fiber filled dinner, without a spike, but I can’t eat nearly the amount of tortilla chips I’d like to. ☹️ This could also be because when I eat chips it’s often BEFORE (or at least at the beginning) of my meal.
Sometimes I would spike when I ate my no sugar, high protein yogurt with grain free granola & a handful of blueberries on top for breakfast. This surprised me but it was in the morning & after an intense workout, so those probably contribute.
This brings me to another note… Sugar is sugar. Yes, a blueberry might at least provide some fiber & vitamins, but it is essentially digested the same as honey, table sugar, or maple syrup.
Alcohol is not sugar, unless you add sugar to the liquor. Having a glass of wine before or with dinner will actually likely lessen the blood glucose response. But before you go celebrate this news with that cocktail, just know it’s only because it’s essentially poisoning your liver. 😬
I’ll be honest. I still drink, but I’m a lot more selective these days. I don’t drink as much or as often, & I make sure I will have plenty of time to sleep off all the nagging effects. I also consume some slower burning carbs & maybe some electrolytes for added insurance.
My blood sugar average for the time I wore it was 98. I spent 98% of my time in the target range (& some of that was below the recommended 70 bottom.)
The last thing I’ll add is you can still gain weight with your blood sugar in a “good” range. I didn’t lose weight when I did Keto.
Blood sugar is important, not just for weight, but our overall health. If you’re not going to wear a monitor, at least follow the general guidelines above for a while & see if you notice a difference in your energy level, mood, cravings, sleep & hunger.
How many grams of CHO (carbohydrates) do you eat in a day?
There’s no magic number but if you’re not happy with how you feel, perhaps you could track that for a while & see how many grams you’re eating/day. If it’s over 200g, you might try pulling back a bit. This will make more room in your diet for PROTEIN! 🙌
Not just a small smile of amusement, but the belly clutching cackle that squints your eyes closed until tears stream out.
Can you even remember?
Honestly. Do you laugh as often as you used to?
There is science to prove laughter is really good for our health.
Laughter
can change your perspective (shifts your focus to positive),
increases oxygenation to some organs including the heart & lungs,
exercises the diaphragm, abs & shoulders, leaving them more relaxed afterward,
stimulates circulation & relaxes muscles which helps lower stress,
reduces cortisol,
increases endorphins released by our brains,
can improve our immune system by increasing the number of antibody-producing cells & improving the efficiency of T-cells,
can relieve pain,
improves our mood &
is FREE!
My sisters gave me a Funny Journal 18 years ago when Ali’s 20 year old sister Nadia died. I was to fill the pages with funny moments so I would always have a reason to at least smile when needed.
If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you know I am a documenter, especially of my kids. We snuggle up sometimes & watch old videos together & they will giggle at themselves, get all warm & fuzzy at how cute they used to be, & remember moments we surely would have forgotten by now.
Most of the Funny Journal entries are something funny a kid said (my nieces & nephews before we had our own), but Ali has made a few “appearances” as well.
For example, here are a couple entries from when I was pregnant.
February 14, 2009 (pregnant with Izak)
We went to Cherry Cricket (a dive bar/burger joint of sorts) for Valentines Day with friends. Ali ran into someone he knew & the guy joked, “Big date for Valentine’s Day, huh?”
Ali looked in my direction & said, “Yeah! And she’s getting bigger by the day!”
Here’s one I hesitate to share, but I’m willing to embarrass myself in the hopes that it at least makes you crack a smile. 🤭
Pregnant with Izak
Ali was cuddling up behind me trying to get frisky while I was putting on my zit cream. I’m SO broken out for the past few months! (hormones)
I said, “You don’t want to have sex with me.”
“Why not?”
I said, “Because, I’m ugly with all these zits. I’m fat. I’m cranky!”
There was a short pause before he said, “Give me 5 more reasons!”
I was laughing so hard, I went to the bathroom, closed the door, sat down & giggled out a fart.
Through the closed door I heard, “Ok, 4 more!”
I don’t think I was pregnant for this one.
I was climbing into bed after a long day preparing to leave town to meet mom, Whitney & Natalie in Portland. I looked at my list & realized I’d ever made it to the bank.
“Ali, can I borrow some money? Do you have any cash?”
Without changing positions, one arm behind his head, & not looking up from his iPad, he responded flatly, “You come to bed wearing THAT & ask for money?”
Let’s just say it was NOT sexy.
These still make me laugh out loud as I type them. I doubt they will be as funny to you, but my question for you is, how often do you laugh?
What (or who) makes you laugh? And how can we insert more in to your life?
My kids (especially when they were young) provided a LOT of laughs for me.
We were in a rush to get Izak (4) to soccer. I was working hard and fast to put on his shin guards and socks. I was telling him how his pants were going to go right over these and no one was even going to be able to TELL they were here!
“…and they will make you SUPER fast! But it’s a secret! Because no one can even see them!” as I pulled his pants back down over them.
I put him on the sidewalk and started quickly getting baby Nadia out of her seat. I heard Izak behind me making friends with some people passing by. When I turned to see I noticed the older couple dressed like Amish people pushing a stroller. Maybe their grandson I decided.
Izak proceeded to introduce us. “This is my mom Jill, and my baby sister Nadia…” as he motioned his hand in our direction like Vanna White.
I was the only one who thought it was adorable. They did not smile and quickly moved on.
I smiled to myself and went back to dressing Nadia when I heard Izak yell out after them, “Do you want to see what I have hiding in my pants!?”
They are sometimes a mirror of what our language must be.
Driving home the other day Izak was looking at a big red truck and called him a clown. I asked, “Why is he a clown!?”
“Because he’s not moving and daddy said when they don’t move they’re a clown!”
And they are brutally honest.
I was pinching Izak’s bum as he crawled into the car and he laughed out loud. When he sat down he said loudly to me, “Mom, do you know who has the BIGGEST butt?”
Ohhhhh I did not want to hear this. “You! It’s even bigger than dad’s!”
It is so fun to hear what goes on in their heads.
Izak was peeing and said to daddy, “Daddy, girls don’t have penises right?”
“Right” daddy confirmed.
Izak paused while thinking of this before responding thoughtfully, ‘How sad for them.”
I have MANY entries that make me giggle still today. I also have a lot of videos that crack me up.
This was Nadia trying out a BOSU for the first time. She’s quite athletic. Maybe that’s why this was so funny to me.
I sold nutritional supplements for years so I am admittedly a fan. When AdvoCare changed their pay plan (& took away my 6 figure income) I considered that my invitation to try other brands. 😁
I’ve gotten discount codes for the companies I could (provided in the link). You can also just order most of them on Amazon too.
Let me start by saying, I am not a nutritionist or registered dietitian. If you’re looking for such an expert, may I recommend my good friend Kelly Harrington, RD. She is fabulous.
So I’m not recommending anything. 😉 I’m just telling you what I take.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
Right now, creatine is all the rage. I first took creatine when I was a thrower in college. Back then, only football players were using it. I did gain a few pounds initially but I noticed that my 30th throw at practice was as peppy as my first.
Since then, we have learned that creatine benefits not only muscle (a huge deal for women over 40), but also our brains (maybe a bigger deal for some of us). 😜
The generally accepted dose is 3-5g/day. It does not do much if you take it here & there. You need to take it daily to receive the benefits. We cycle it here. (Every so often we will not take it for a week or two.)
We use Naked but I think as long as it’s creatine monohydrate you’re good.
Most post workout drinks have creatine in them already.
I have tried a LOT of pre/post workout drinks. You don’t need to be taking this but I don’t like coffee & Spark was the only thing that ever lit me up enough to WANT to workout.
Pre-workouts often have beta-alanine, B vitamins & other ingredients besides just caffeine.
Legion is my favorite pre-workout & the rest of my family loves their caramel & vanilla protein shakes. Ali & I also drink their post workout (which has the creatine already in it) & they also have a yummy gummy form.
I have the MTHFR gene so I do not want folic acid. This limits which products I can take but to be honest, 30-40% of caucasians are likely carriers of at least one copy of this gene so you might consider just avoiding folic acid (synthetic) as well.
You want folate, naturally occurring in food & also written as 5-Methyltetrahydrofolate, L-5-methylfolate, & folinic acid on supplements.
*Since most of you won’t know if you (or your kids) have the MTHFR gene or not, I challenge you to just stick to folate for one week & see what happens. That means avoiding “enriched” foods (breads, cereals, pastas…) & making sure your vitamins don’t contain folic acid.
The cleanest pre/post workout drink I tried is a brand called Promix. Sadly, I felt nothing from it but I do now take their Debloat: Prebiotic + Probiotic drink daily.
I suffered for 7 years from continued illness that no doctor could figure out. It was a naturopath who eventually diagnosed me with leaky gut. Once we healed my insides, I could eat whatever I wanted & rarely EVER get sick anymore.
Our immune system is only part of the benefits of having a healthy microbiome. Your brain, muscles & heart are all heavily influenced by how healthy (or not) your gut is.
I’m taking Seed probiotics right now but it is an expensive choice. I know there are plenty of other options (including what you eat) but I have a deep passion (for obvious reasons) about this area of nutrition so I choose to go with the highest quality I can find.
I also sometimes drink Gut Restore from a company called Body Health. I also take their Perfect Aminos & they have some amazing sleep aids I love. Body Calm is a magnesium drink (also has their perfect aminos blend) & I swear, I sleep like a baby when I drink it.
I can’t remember the last time I was sick honestly & although I attribute most of that to the cold plunge, I also have to think adding colostrum has helped.
It’s supposed to help with the intestinal lining & since I have a history there, I added it in about a year ago just for added insurance. I take Armra but again, it is expensive so I split between that & Wondercow.
I also put a pill form in the kids’ vitamins last fall in an effort to prevent the usual fall sicknesses. Izak has not missed one day of school despite a crazy schedule & he is usually prone to respiratory illness so this was huge. Nadia also never complains of stomach issues anymore despite a consistent history of them. I can’t say this is why, but I’m a fan.
I like to take breaks (cycle) so they are not on the colostrum now. I will see if their health changes.
I take AG1 daily for my general vitamins. It is a green drink & I take the drops of D3/K2 as well. (Super important – especially in winter months.)
For years I had some suspect lab results related to my heart, so my functional medicine doctor had me on all kinds of things to help. None of it seemed to be working so he finally sent me in for some testing.
Turns out, I have an enlarged heart.
😁 You knew it, didn’t you. 😜
Not sure if that has anything to do with the numbers though because we started eating out a lot less & my numbers have been much better since then.
The last thing I’ll mention is collagen. There are many different types, each supporting specific growth for hair, skin, nails, ligaments, cartilage, bone, etc.
Collagen reads as protein on the label, but I encourage you to not count the grams for your daily protein needs, mostly because collagen doesn’t feed your muscle like complete protein does.
Protein might just be THE most important “supplement” we could add by the way so if you are not prioritizing protein (I’m a big fan of the animal kind) please do so!
Let’s Work – the exercise
As I said, I’m not recommending any of this to you. I am a fan of a good overall multi-vitamin (without folic acid), Omegas & probiotics.
But here’s my real message, if what you’re doing isn’t working, if you don’t feel GOOD, do something different!
Perhaps you’re deficient in D or B? Magnesium could help you poop & sleep – 2 very important things to reaching your full potential!
Becoming The Woman You Want To Be
has everything to do with what you consume.Vibrant energyis an important key to becoming spirit, mind, body strong. What we put IN directly effects our energy, motivation, mood, decision making, patience… all of it! If you don’t feel awesome, please do something different.
It is my mission to provide you with the keys to becoming spirit, mind, body strong. I want us to THRIVE, not just survive. The Untethered Soul by Michael Stringer explains how to achieve internal freedom.
Last week, in our first discussion we learned our inner voice is busy trying to “protect” us by managing the world & events around us to make them acceptable or favorable to us.
If someone does or says something that is not ok with us, our inner roommate chatters away making sure they’re proven wrong.
Fear is the cause of every problem. It’s the root of all prejudices and the negative emotions of anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. If you had no fear, you could be perfectly happy living in this world.
Our goal is to be so aware of the energies passing through us that we recognize fear coming, & instead of trying to fix things to prevent this pain, we look inside & discover the root cause.
What is this fear about? Why is it here? What inside me is not welcoming this event or opinion?
Then lean in to it. Relax & release.
True freedom is realizing this expected pain is not so insufferable after all. Not the absence of pain, but the willingness to endure it opening so it may pass on by & not be captured for future torment.
We free ourselves when we find ourselves. We must quit busying ourselves with preventing the “hurt” & instead look at where & why it hurts, & eventually, it won’t.
Who sees the disturbance? You! And the fact that you are seeing it, means you are not the disturbance!
When you feel pain, simply view it as energy. Just start seeing these inner experiences as energy passing through your heart and before the eye of your consciousness. Then relax. Do the opposite of contracting and closing. Relax and release. Relax your heart until you are actually face-to-face with the exact place where it hurts. Stay open and receptive so you can be present right where the tension is. You must be willing to be present right at the place of the tightness and pain, and then relax and go even deeper. This is very deep growth and transformation. But you will not want to do this. You will feel tremendous resistance to doing this, and that’s what makes it so powerful. As you relax and feel the resistance, the heart will want to pull away, to close, to protect, and to defend itself. Keep relaxing. Relax your shoulders and relax your heart. Let go and give room for the pain to pass through you. It’s just energy. Just see it as energy and let it go.
You can practice this 1000 times a day if you are mother or wife, if you drive a car, interact with other broken souls on a daily basis, or are experiencing a change in your hormones. 😜
You can also test yourself by taking away what seems to matter to you.
If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.
If you are someone who prides herself on always being put together, challenge yourself to go out in public without looking perfect.
Why is this hard? Where’s the rub? Lean in to it. What do you discover about yourself?
Can you imagine the freedom of not caring so much about how others perceive you?
If you are someone who never wants to stir the pot or go against the grain, try it once. Speak your mind & see what happens inside you.
Not how others respond, but how YOU do. Why is that so difficult?
If you overeat, smoke or drink too much, stop. Sit with the massive urge to do so until you understand what is provoking this behavior.
You will learn so much enduring this discomfort IF you do the work to investigate WHY you do what you do.
Stringer refers to this as dislodging the thorn. Instead of walking through life trying to protect the foreign body from getting bumped by any outside “threats”, let’s remove the thorn.
Without the thorn, you won’t have to always have your guard up, trying to prevent the hurt of it getting bumped.
It’s an exhausting way to live – always on the defense. Find & remove your thorns so you can actually be present & enjoy life more fully.
We don’t need more years to live. We need a willingness to experience the life we have before us.
The most important thing in life is your inner energy. If you’re always tired and never enthused, then life is no fun. But if you’re always inspired and filled with energy, then every minute of every day is an exciting experience. Learn to work with these things. Through meditation, through awareness and willful efforts, you can learn to keep your centers open. You do this by just relaxing and releasing. You do this by not buying into the concept that there is anything worth closing over. Remember, if you love life, nothing is worth closing over.
Choose to keep your heart open. Always.
Let’s Work – the exercise
Our happiness is completely up to us. There are no conditions we can set on it.
“I’ll be happy IF….” is not true happiness.
Continually executing the decision to remain open, choosing happiness, is enlightenment.
The only thing you have to know is that opening allows energy in, and closing blocks it out. Now you have to decide whether or not you want this energy. How high do you want to get? How much love do you want to feel? How much enthusiasm do you want to have for the things you do? If enjoying a full life means experiencing high energy, love, and enthusiasm all the time, then don’t ever close.
I challenge you to focus on remaining open this week, especially in the face of disturbance.
Choose to remain open & let the wave of emotion pass through you. Notice that you are the one observing it. Watch it come in, notice where it hurts & why, then exhale it on out.
Relax & release.
“You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience.”
“Everything will be ok as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the only time everything will be ok.”
