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Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
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You don’t need a new you. You need better support.
What if this was the year you stopped starting over?
The reason people fail at their resolutions is because they are over-ambitious in setting the end goal and under zealous in the actual plan of attack.
We are also often setting the wrong goals.
Last night we had a family brainstorming session like we do every year about this time. We did it over dinner so didn’t write anything down but we took turns sharing.
We learned more about ourselves by asking questions like…
What do I wish my mom would say to me more often?
Who do I look up to?
What makes me mad?
We explored where we currently are and where we want to be by asking questions like…
What is a thought I often have?
What is a thought I wish I would have more often?
We spent time dreaming about our ideal life…
Describe my perfect day.
What is the best feeling in the world?
By the end of the conversation, we had some unique understanding of our greatest “areas of opportunity”.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
We need to fully understand who we are, before we can guess how we want to change.
We want identity-based resolutions.
I’ve written extensively about this.
Often people approach New Year’s Resolutions with an attitude of “What do I need to fix about myself?”
May I suggest that we would be better off asking, “How could I support my future self?”
Instead of “I’m going to be more disciplined” let’s try “What would make healthy choices easier for me on my hardest days?”
I need to help Nadia (and myself for that matter) by not having tempting, sugar-filled foods in this house.
Most resolutions fail because they rely on willpower, not systems.
We need infrastructure, not just good intentions.
Getting the chocolate out of this house would definitely help Nadia consume less sugar.
It also helps everyone if I have healthy, easy, delicious protein and vegetable options already prepared for quick grab-and-go meals.
If you want to workout more – “We’ll see how the day goes” is not a plan. It’s a wish.
Instead, pre-schedule (and prepay) for the classes, book the daycare and set out your workouts clothes the night before.
You need to schedule in your calendar any sort of stress-management or priorities-based resolutions.
Maybe your family needs to protect Thursday nights for family dinners?
Maybe you have a rule that mom and dad have date night every Friday night.
Set boundaries. Everyone’s phones go “in the basket” at 5pm and don’t come out until morning.
If your resolutions require constant willpower, they’re as good as broken. Build systems that carry you when motivation won’t. Your systems should work when you’ve slept 5 hours, a kid is sick and all motivation is missing. Because that’s when they matter most.
Minimum standards instead of big goals.
Systems are basically breaking down the end goal into more manageable steps.
We quit when we miss a day because we are perfectionists. Set a minimum instead of a lofty goal. Build consistency without burnout.
Subtract before you add.
Ask yourself: What am I tolerating that’s draining me? What would I stop doing if I respected my energy more?
Examples:
- Saying YES out of guilt.
- Snacking mindlessly at night
- Doom-scrolling instead of sleeping
- Training like you’re 25
“This year, I stop normalizing exhaustion.”
Energy based (instead of outcome based) resolutions. Weight loss, productivity, patience – those are outcomes. What drives them?
- Sleep
- Blood sugar stability
- Strength
- Stress management
Examples
- “I protect my sleep like it’s my job.”
- “I eat to stabilize my energy, not to punish or reward myself.”
- “I train to be stronger, not smaller.”
Outcomes follow energy. Always.
Perhaps a seasonal approach is best (instead of year long). We don’t live the same life in January as we do in June. Maybe a 90 day resolution makes more sense.
Tonight, we break out our journals and answer the 6 questions Mel Robbins suggests in her podcast How To Make 2026 The Best Year: 6 Questions To Ask Yourself.
Briefly, they are
- What were the low points of this year?
- What were the high points?
- What did you learn?
- What are you going to stop doing?
- What are you going to continue doing?
- What are you going to start/ add?
She states in the introduction, people don’t become great (they don’t get success) by CHANCE, but by the CHOICES they make.
Let’s Work – the exercise
This year doesn’t need a new you. It needs a more supported you. One who eats, rests, trains, and thinks like her energy matters – because it does.
Here is a worksheet using these ideas to create the 2026 you deserve.
