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Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
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New Year Energy Starts Now
If you’re reading this the day it comes out, you have 82 days until January 1, 2026.
Why do we wait for New Years Day to be motivated to “clean it up”?
Why does it never seem to work?
It is a fact that most New Year’s Resolutions are given up on by March.
Google says.
New Year’s resolutions typically last for less than four months, with many people giving up within the first month or by the second Friday in January, known as “Quitter’s Day”. Studies show that only a small percentage of resolutions are kept throughout the entire year, with rates varying but generally remaining under 10%.
Why is that?
I believe I have the answer. We approach it all wrong.
We want to HAVE some specific result, so we DO x, y and z… so we can BE whatever it is we want to be (10 lbs lighter for example).
Probably sounds reasonable, right?
If I just HAVE more time, then I’ll DO more workouts, and I’ll BE fit.
We actually have that exactly backwards. The HAVE, DO, BE mentality is setting us up for failure.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
I specifically remember picking Izak up from school one day (I think he was in first grade) and when he got into the car he was upset because he’d just gotten in trouble with a teacher.
In discussing his day I learned they’d just had cupcakes for a kid’s birthday party.
I noticed aloud something like, “That’s the second time lately that you’ve gotten in trouble after eating sugar.”
He didn’t argue with that. In fact, he seemed to contemplate it, then added that he didn’t even feel good. He didn’t like how it made him feel.
This is pretty much the day he stopped eating sugar. Not because I told him to, or because he wanted to reach some health milestone, but because he realized it didn’t fit with how he wanted to feel.
It was hard to find a picture for this email of him eating sugar. I have PLENTY of Nadia. 🤣 She LOVES it.
Nadia has always been an adventure seeker. From a young age she would seek out risks.
SIDE NOTE: Do you see how she looks at me in this video when I’m freaking out? She looks at me as if it hadn’t occurred to her yet that this was anything but fun. I almost ruin it by my amazement. 🙊
To this day, Nadia doesn’t have to convince herself that she can do hard things. She doesn’t have to talk herself in to accepting many challenges. She considers this part of who she is.
I workout. If anything, I have to talk myself OUT of working out sometimes. (Force myself to take a day off.) It’s just a part of my identity.
Trying to contort ourselves to follow some set of rules is exhausting. Especially if those rules are not who you currently are.
Instead, embrace an identity…. decide you are THIS KIND OF PERSON.
You need to BE who a successful business owner would be and DO what a successful business owner does, if you want to HAVE a successful business.
You need to BE who your ideal mate would want to be with and DO what his ideal mate would do to HAVE your ideal mate.
You need to BE someone who does the essential things to BE lean… DO the things a lean human does, if you want to HAVE a lean body.
This is why I talk about my “Ideal Self” often. I have a vision of her in my mind. Admittedly, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time creating her.
If you take a second and think about it, can you see her?
How does she respond to certain situations?
How does she handle stress?
Is she self-confident?
Loud?
Quiet?
Athletic?
Does she go to book club?
Does she have a lot of friends?
Or just a few close ones?
This is something I talk to my kids about often. You get to choose who you’re going to be! Have you spent any time contemplating this very important decision?
When you step into BEING first, the doing becomes natural. And when the DOING becomes natural, the HAVING follows.
It’s a lot easier to keep promises to yourself when they’re tied to your identity, not just your to-do list.
When you believe that you are “a healthy, strong mom”, it’s easier to choose the apple over the chips – not because you’re forcing yourself to, but because that’s just what this version of you does.
Let’s Work – the exercise
First and foremost, you need to decide who it is you want to be.
Write it out, in detail.
Hopefully, you’re already well on your way. HOPEFULLY, you LIKE who you already are! We’re just trying to improve daily, because that’s what an Arete Woman does. She’s constantly striving for excellence.
If you’re struggling to decide, try this. Get quiet, peaceful, and relaxed… then write a letter to yourself including all the things you’d love for someone to say to and about you. This will tell you a lot.
Secondly, write out some “I am” statements to help remind you who you are. (Who you BE.) Instead of “I want to lose 10 pounds,” write “I am a mom who prioritizes her health and is strong and lean.”
Let the doing flow from the being. Ask yourself, “What does my Ideal Self do today?” Then do that.
Trust the HAVE will follow. Over time, results stack up, because you’re not fueled by willpower, but by identity.
