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Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
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Proof Is Everywhere (If You’re Looking For It)
I can barely get Nadia to watch the videos I take of her. If she gets any time on instagram she’d rather watch funny animal videos than herself.
I love this about her.
But on our way to Parkour the other day, she stumbled upon my Nadia highlights. A collection of little moments I’ve saved over the years – things she said, outfits she proudly wore (she had QUITE her own style), funny quirks, pieces of her personality that proved to me, this girl is something else.
And she was losing it.
Laughing hysterically. Completely delighted.
It wasn’t that she thought it was funny – anyone would be entertained! It was the way she was looking at that younger version of herself.
With admiration.
Affection.
Genuine love.
She wasn’t critiquing. She wasn’t embarrassed. She wasn’t picking herself apart the way so many of us do.
She was enjoying who she was… on her way to becoming who she is.
We’ve always told her she’s a character – in that moment, she had proof.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
Later that week, I was listening to my Hallow app while driving. The speaker was describing God as a Father – arms wide open, ready to embrace us.
I had this unexpected, visceral reaction. I felt my stomach turn with emotion.
My dad is not a hugger and although I don’t wish him to be anything he’s not, I wondered for a brief moment how would I be different if he had been. 🤔
How would it have changed me if I’d grown up with the kind of physical affection my husband gives our kids (and I) daily?
Neither is wrong or right. It just made me think.
Around the same time, I saw a video from Nikki Heyder. She flashed an image on the screen for three seconds and told the viewers to find three blue objects.
Then she took it away and she asked what the yellow object was.
You can easily go look, but I had NO idea. And neither did most people.
Her explanation was simple. Your brain filters reality based on what you’re looking for.
You don’t see everything. You see what you’ve decided matters.
Isn’t this true?
We go through life looking for proof.
If you believe you’re bad at something… you’ll find evidence everywhere. If you think you’re behind… you’ll notice everyone ahead of you. If you feel like you’re failing as a mom… you’ll collect moments that confirm it.
And you’ll miss everything that contradicts it.
Watching Nadia that day made something very clear to me:
She was seeing herself through a lens of love.
Not because her life has been perfect. Not because she’s done everything right.
But because she had been given enough evidence – and enough reinforcement – to believe something good about herself.
And now, that’s what she looks for.
Most of us don’t have childhood highlight reels neatly saved on our phones. But that doesn’t mean the evidence isn’t there. It just means we might have to look for it.
Let’s Work – the exercise
If your brain is always scanning for proof, then you have a choice to make:
What are you going to look for?
Because you will find it. You will always find it.
So maybe today looks like this:
- Look for moments you showed up well instead of where you fell short.
- Notice progression instead of perfection.
- Collect evidence that you’re growing, not failing.
- Remember that who you were wasn’t “cringey”… she was becomming.
If Nadia can look back on her younger self with that much joy and appreciation there’s no reason I can’t learn to do the same.
The way we choose to see ourselves today? That’s the version our kids will learn to see in themselves tomorrow. So we better choose carefully.
We’re not just shaping our own story. We’re quietly teaching them what to look for in theirs.
