|
Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
|
|
|
But Even A Superhero Fails On E
34 people subscribed to this newsletter after last week’s post about Nadia’s health struggles.
One of our rules here is Do Not Assume (The Four Agreements), but the timing of this influx does tempt me to guess that many of you are searching for improvements in your health. Or your children’s.
Either way, welcome. I’m truly so glad you’re here and I sincerely hope this little bit of perspective that lands in your inbox each Saturday morning will be worth the time it takes you to read it.
I feel compelled to add that I am not a doctor. Or a psychologist, therapist or even a certified life coach.
But I was a cheerleader in 8th grade so…
And I do have a love for all things self-improvement, vibrant health and helping moms create lives that feel better – not just look good from the outside.
Because if we’re being honest, many of us are hanging on by the seat of our pants, one dropped ball away from panic, while trying to maintain the illusion that we’re doing it all with ease.
Last week I added to your list of responsibilities by suggesting that you not only have to advocate for your own health, but that of your kids as well.
Super. 🙄
So this week, I want to give you some encouragement, because who can’t use a bit of that right now?
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
There are two quick points I want to make.
You are busy loving on these people you live with, but are you feeling loved?
Love cannot be poured out from an empty tank. It’s a currency and when it’s depleted, things can tip in a disastrous direction.
Every blow up I’ve ever been ashamed of (including Tuesday’s) happened when my love tank was on E.
As mothers, we already accept that we won’t meet our kids’ every need in every moment. The same is true in reverse. Our kids, and our husbands, won’t always meet ours either.
It IS possible, probable actually, that we will find ourselves operating on empty many times throughout our lives.
That’s why I love this reminder from You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero.
You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally. The Universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are. It’s got you wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration. It wants to give you everything you desire. It wants you to be happy. It wants you to see what it sees in you.
How different would your life be if you embraced this as 100% undeniable fact?
Do you FEEL loved?
I know most of us feel needed, but do you feel supported, held, chosen?
Do you believe “the Universe… wants to give you everything you desire?”
Many of us are so busy making sure everyone around us is happy, we might feel like the Universe is in fact against us!
I know that when I’m operating from a state of believing I am being “wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration”, my thoughts, language and actions are a lot more inviting for the Universe to “give me everything I desire”.
On Tuesday I wasn’t there. I was operating from tension, resistance and a serious lack of love (and sleep) – and that never ends well.
I did not feel the Universe “wants me to be happy” – so I made sure no one around me was either. 🫣
Another important point Sincero makes is this.
You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.
I know we are here to improve, so maybe it’s confusing for me to ask you to believe you’re already perfect as you are, but Reinhold Niebuhr states in my favorite prayer:
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
The river would be silly to waste energy trying to change her curves, the direction of her flow or the intensity of her rapids.
Imagine how defeating that would be – to go against the Universe like that.
And yet, many of us waste an absurd amount of our precious energy trying to change who we were put on this earth to be, maybe because we don’t actually know who that is anymore.
With constant comparison just a scroll away, it’s no wonder we’re confused about who we’re meant to be and what our life is supposed to look like.
Instead of embracing our uniqueness, we try to blend in. Instead of celebrating differences, we judge those who don’t do it the way we do.
Maybe the real work isn’t becoming someone new – but finally remembering who we were before the noise got so loud.
If you’re exhausted, snappy, discouraged, or quietly resentful, before you blame yourself for failing, ask yourself this…
If I truly loved myself for who I am, uniquely and wonderfully made, would that self-love fill my tank enough to operate from a more peaceful, grace-filled place?
Let’s Work – the exercise
This week I don’t want you to fix anything. I just want you to notice.
Notice when your tank is low.
Notice when you’re not embracing who you are and what makes you uniquely you.
Notice that you can love yourself!
You matter. Your energy matters. Your presence matters.
And the world, your family included, needs YOU, not a burned out, diluted, empty version of you.
What have you been watering down about yourself to fit in?
What do you LOVE about yourself? Are you willing to state it out-loud, boldly?
What if I asked you to tell me what you LOVE about your kiddo? Would that be so much easier to do?
The best way to raise kids who love themselves is to let them watch a grown-up who truly does.
