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Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
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Do your future self a favor.
One of my many nicknames growing up was Busy Body.
I could not hold still.
Today, although I do still struggle to sit still, it is my brain that is too busy.
I remember the day Ali told me he thinks of nothing but tennis when he’s on the tennis court.
😳
I was profoundly shocked. I didn’t know that was possible!
I was seriously jealous.
I think every mother has a lot on her mind for the most part, but if you’re unable to shut it off when you need to, it can be debilitating.
It’s heroic enough to survive the chaos of getting dinner on the table while helping one with homework & listening to the other talk about his day, while the husband has the TV blaring above it all.
It’s a whole other level of hell if your mind is simultaneously racing through the stuff you did not get done today & the logistics of how you’ll fit it all in tomorrow, & wow, I need to clean out this knife drawer.
Meditation is the obvious answer, so I have dabbled in it over the years, but this year I felt called to take it to another level.
I believe we have the power to manage our minds, which can change everything.
Often, this is in the form of positive thinking. Sometimes though, it’s in the power of NOT thinking at all.
My best tennis is played when my mind is quiet. I can zone in on that ball like it’s a big, slow floating balloon in those rare moments.
My kids & husband deserve that kind of focused attention. So do I for that matter. I think even God wants this for me, so I practiced quieting my mind (meditation) for 40 days of Lent & I was surprised by what happened.
Let’s Prepare – the warm up
I did not set out to spend 30 minutes a day cross-legged on the floor in silence, but if I felt called to, that would be fine too.
My main goal was to practice stillness, both physical & mental. I called it my Quiet Time (QT) since “meditation” can be a bit intimidating.
I set aside at least 10 minutes a day to just be still & quiet, but I did end up doing quite a few guided meditations, sometimes as long as 30 minutes.
It felt like a luxury to have the excuse to go be by myself. The whole family respected & were supportive of my goal. Even while we were on vacation once they all disappeared long enough for me to be alone in the hotel room for 30 minutes.
In addition to time I set aside for my QT, I also found moments throughout my day to practice focus by just being intentional with my attention. Being present. I spent time noticing & relishing details of ordinary moments with my family, doing dishes, driving, folding laundry…
I found myself looking forward to my Quiet Time every day so I am still shocked that I fell out of the practice after Easter.
At first I didn’t notice any ill effects but after a couple weeks I was back to crabby, busy, overwhelmed, distracted Jill.
I’m sure I’m not alone in this struggle… If I KNOW that X, Y or Z is good for me & that I feel better when I do it, why don’t I do it?
Surprisingly, I didn’t really notice a huge positive difference when I was practicing this, but it took me less than 2 weeks to notice the negative difference once I stopped.
It was so obvious, I have made it a priority again.
The key for me is to find a time that works. It is difficult (for me) once the day gets going to just STOP, sit & be still. I can practice my focus with moments of intentional attention but I’ve learned I can go deep into my QT much better if I’m not trying to slam on the breaks in the middle of a busy day.
Turns out, before & after sleep are actually really good times to channel our inner peace. Our brain waves change throughout the day & meditation during these transitional times can be super advantageous.
This also works better for me in terms of actually fitting it in, so that’s where I have scheduled it for now. There are days where it does work for me to stop midday & practice a good 10+ minutes of QT. I love those days! But I try to get some in first thing in the morning just in case & I love to end my day with some as well.
Let’s Work – the exercise
Do you think you would benefit from meditation? Or at least some Quiet Time?
Honestly, the “I Should” list is long. I get it. Maybe this is not at the top of your list!
Whatever IS though, spend some time figuring out how to make it easier on yourself to actually do it. Maybe you need to get rid of something, rearrange a room, change your schedule, designate something to someone, or call for help…
Can you remove some barriers for this thing to happen?
If it’s working out for example, maybe you need to find a good book to listen to. You can walk or jog while you listen. Or, you can join our workouts if you want some company, guidance & encouragement.
If it’s eating less junk food, get it out of your house! NO ONE needs that kind of temptation staring them in the face all day.
If it’s getting better sleep, maybe you need to make your room darker, cooler, or more quiet.
Whatever it is, do your future self a favor & set yourself up for success.
