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Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong
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Who Do You Want To Be?
Dear Reader,
We have 5.5 weeks left of 2024.
And let’s be honest, they’re BUSY filled with decorating, eating, shopping, wrapping, drinking, planning, treats, traditions, parties… & more eating & drinking.
Oh & don’t forget to be merry in the midst of all that fun.
It’s easy to forget about our priorities when buried in chaos, even if it is good, FUN chaos.
As we wrap up 2024 & look ahead to 2025, let’s take a moment to remember who we want to be.
I call her My Ideal Self & she is inspired by the women I admire.
She has Olivia’s sense of humor & Karmen’s laugh.
She loves unconditionally like Ana & Bonnie.
She has Kristen & Michele’s Catholic devotion.
She is an awesome mom like Jody. She parents as if someone is always watching like Whitney. (😬 Can you IMAGINE!?)
She is so good at her work & still manages to take care of all her family & friends like Lea & Natalie.
She has my mom’s patience & Aimee’s positive attitude.
She has Brandi’s willingness to do what it takes to be healthy.
She is organized like Anna.
She has Beth & Amy’s calm demeanor even in the face of mayhem.
She’s a gentle badass like Katie.
She has a beautiful friendship with her husband like Yasi.
She educates herself so she can have intelligent conversations like Jen & has fun doing so like Cathleen.
She has Jameela’s ability to always be put together, looking fabulous, including her spotless home ready for any impromptu party.
I could go on & on about who My Ideal Self is, but what’s more important is maybe who she is NOT.
My Ideal Woman does not get buried in shame or guilt. She’s not perfect, but she doesn’t beat herself up about it.
She eats the dang cake & loves every bite! She usually stops when she’s had a bit, but if she is overcome with its goodness, she has zero self-loathing when she overindulges.
Her ego is not so huge that she cannot apologize when she makes a mistake. Even to her kids.
Especially to her kids!
She is NOT a Yes Woman. She cherishes her right to say no & has zero explaining to do for it afterward.
It’s just, “No.” No explanation needed, because she does not care too much about what other people think. Their opinion of her is none of her business. (🤩 Imagine the FREEDOM!)
She loves whole-heartedly, but she loves HERSELF that way most of all.
This is a picture of MY Ideal Self. What does yours look like?
Let’s Work – the exercise
When I was in college I was not the woman I was hoping to be. I didn’t know this yet. I just knew that my life & relationships were not what I wanted them to be.
My teacher had us do the following exercise. I was single, but I still think this is an excellent exercise for anyone to do!
WARNING: This is not going to work unless you do it. Truly. I’ve told people about this before & it’s not as impactful if you don’t actually DO it. It won’t take but a couple minutes. I promise.
(PS – remember this one for when your kids start dating!)
Take out a piece of paper and fold it in half. Now close your eyes & envision your ideal spouse or partner.
(I’m going to take the liberty of assuming you are a woman looking for the perfect male here.)
Who is this perfect DREAM partner? How does he act? What is his disposition? What are his tendencies? How does he spend his time? Can he cook? Does he read books, go to comedy clubs or ski? Does he like Indian food? Do his feet stink?
Whatever details you can see… write it all down on one side of the paper.
——-
Now set your pen down & close your eyes again.
What is this ideal partner’s ideal partner like? Is she funny? Sarcastic? Or more serious & smart? How does she respond to disappointment? What do they do together? Is she organized & clean? Or more spontaneous & fun?
Write out whatever details you envision.
Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Ok, now tear the paper in half down the middle so you have one list on one piece & the other on the other.
Take the half that describers your ideal mate, crumple it up & throw it away.
Now take the half that describes his ideal mate & hang it up on your mirror.
This was SO profound for me because the list of my ideal mate’s ideal mate was NOTHING like me. 😳
The most notable shock was that she was fiercely independent & self-confident. She did not NEED this man to be happy. And at that time in my life, this did NOT describe me.
At all. 🥺
The exciting part is, I’ve come a long way in this area since then 😜 but I would never have even recognized this “area of opportunity” had I not done the work to discover it.
You get to choose who you want to be!
Spend these last 38 days of 2024 rediscovering your Ideal Self.
