Arete Warriors – spirit, mind, body strong

Happiness

You Don’t Have To Wait Until Your Birthday

Years ago I was in therapy, because I was really, really sad.

I remember sitting in the chair one day as I had been for weeks, crying real tears while the sympathetic professional looked at me with sincere concern.

She quietly, carefully asked me, “What do you like to do for fun?”

The question slapped me across the face.

My first thought was, “Fun?” What the hell is fun!?

My second instinct was self-defense.

“I know how to have fun! I have a LOT of fun!”

And yet still I sat dumbfounded & silent… unable to answer her.

She waited patiently while I fumbled for a response.

Eventually I came up with “Volleyball! I love volleyball.”

I was feeling pretty proud of myself until she calmly responded, “And when’s the last time you played volleyball?”

Of course, I didn’t play volleyball. I hadn’t played in years.

Let’s Prepare – the Warm Up

This was such a profound moment for me.

I wasn’t a mom yet, but I’d trained many. I worked at The Coors Fitness Center at the time.

I watched many a mother bring her kid in to the gym daycare, fuss over them for minutes unloading snacks & trying to get her precious one involved with something distracting enough for her to slip away to go workout.

Not being a mother myself, it seemed like a lot of work to me.

I remember one beautiful mom who came in often with the CUTEST little blond boy (always in red boots).

Every day, he ran in excitedly.

And every day, she’d end up hiding next to the doorway listening to her adorable little boy scream bloody murder, sometimes with tears in her eyes.

“Am I EVER going to be able to workout?” she asked me one day in desperation.

I don’t know why she thought I would have the answer to that question. But her asking it & watching her struggle would end up one day impacting my parenting.

The hidden blessing of not being able to procreate the second I thought I was ready to was selfishness. 😁 I had time to get used to my freedoms & plan how all this parenting stuff was going to go.

🤣

I know what you’re thinking.

Yes, I was wrong about a lot of the plans I made. But this one thing held true.

I was too selfish to let my kids get in the way of my workouts. 🙊

They got used to mom leaving them for short periods of time from a young age. Before they even understood I was leaving them, I was leaving them.

I made time for my workouts.

I had to.

It was just THAT important to me.

Exercise was something I deemed important. And because of my previous lesson from therapy, so was having fun.

Ali & I chose to keep the fun once kids joined us. We went on dates & trips & threw parties. We even added a sport we love (tennis). It was a priority for us to have our own fun while raising adults.

I’ll ask you, “What do you do for fun?” 🤔

And “When’s the last time you did that?”

Let’s Work – the exercise

This might actually take some work for some of you. When my therapist asked me the question my knee jerk reaction was to say, “Workout.”

But then I heard myself…. “I workout for fun.”

No I don’t. Working out isn’t FUN (unless it’s tennis, dancing, hiking or shopping REALLY good sales). I workout because it makes me feel good. I like the result.

What do you do for fun? And when & how can you incorporate it into your life on a regular basis?

As I write this I just turned 50. Like, literally . . . about 32 minutes ago. 😁 And if there’s one thing I know having lived for half a century, it’s that life is not always fun.

It’s unavoidable.

But what is 100%, completely avoidable is spending your life being a self-proclaimed martyr of motherhood. Choose to not be a slave or victim to your responsibilities Reader.

There is so much joy & fun awaiting you. It is your job to go find it. Insert it into your life like it’s a priority.

Here are some ideas…

• Go to a comedy club.
• Pick up tennis.
• Learn to sew or knit.
• Join a local theatre group.
• Go to a museum.
• Start a supper club.
• Join a book club.
• Learn to play the piano.
• Go on a picnic.
• Go camping.
• Learn to make sourdough bread.
• Go to an escape room.
• Host a murder mystery dinner party.
• Play board games.
• Learn to make kombucha (like my friend Amy did 😉)

I mean, the list is endless. Some of these ideas may not seem fun to you. What do YOU want to do? Not your kids. Or your husband. What sounds fun to you mama?

Life is short, even if you make it to 50. Go have some fun!